A Post From Mommy

Well we survived the induction period. This might not sound like a big deal, but believe me, after living through this it is a big deal! We've spent almost half of the six weeks since CJ was diagnosed in the hospital with three separate stays. We've lived through the ever-changing food cravings, from grilled cheese, to corn dogs, to hash browns - then chicken nuggets, to fruit loops, to Cheetos, to fried clams, and ending with fried shrimp with tails.

Not only did CJ have ever-changing cravings, everyone knew about them. When staying in the hospital everyone who walked in the door was greeted with the cry of, “no shots”! And when he realized they didn’t have a shot he told them what he wanted to eat. These cravings didn’t end at bed time either. I don’t know how many times I got up in the middle of the night to fix CJ a bowl of cereal or get a bag of chips.

There hasn’t been a full night of sleep until this week. I have watched my skinny little guy transform into a chubby-check, swollen belly, swollen ankles, and moody little boy. It is like a pregnant woman at month nine - swollen, hungry, achy, trouble breathing and no way to get comfortable no matter how hard he tried - and moody because of it. I have been assured this is all normal and it will get better.

We had to buy new clothes since he out-grew all of his older clothes. We got a new pair of shoes that would stretch with his feet. We bought a large stroller because he is too big for me to carry and his poor little legs and feet hurt too much to walk more than ten feet. And you can forget steps! Even the three steps to get in the house are un-bearable for him.

In three weeks CJ gained 16 pounds, so no wonder he hurts. He doesn’t even look like the same child. I am told this will go away but not as fast as it came on. Since the steroids ended this week the cravings have stopped, and we have had a couple of nights that have been full of sleep. His legs are not as swollen and he even walked all the way to the mail box and back with me today. This is such a big deal. Plus the mood swings have gotten so much better. He has been laughing and playing which just makes me want to cry, since I know how much he has been through this past month. I have gotten a peak of who my child was before.

I have come to realize that working even part time from the house is just not possible right now. We are not able to plan anything. I’ve told my family not to plan anything around us. If we can come we will, but don’t count on it. Life as we knew it, is no more. This is one of the hardest things for me since I have always been a planner, and the one everyone could count on. I am a stay-at-home mom now. I never thought I would hear myself say that. I have worked my entire life and I’m here to tell you this is the hardest job I’ve ever had. And to think, this is just the beginning.

I would like to thank everyone who has helped us out this past month - everyone who has contributed to CJ’s fund, brought food, prayers, gifts for CJ and those who have helped take care of Hunter. I would like send out a special thanks to my mother-in-law Kitty for keeping up this blog and for so much help with Hunter. I’ve been able to focus on CJ since I knew Hunter was in good hands. I would also like to send out a special thanks to my sister Christy. Every time we needed something she has been there. From fried clams to clean clothes, starting CJ’s fund, and making sure everyone was informed so I didn’t have to make so many calls. We couldn’t have done this without the both of you.